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It is difficult to put on paper feelings and experiences that you would just as soon say nothing about. Domestic abuse is one of those topics and Felicity Okolo does tell her story well.  It takes courage to say clearly and objectively what so many fear to express.  This is a book that should be in every clinic, hospital, social services waiting rooms and any other place where women can read what this Nigerian woman so clearly expresses through her written words.  It empowers and enlightens those who seek and need help. Domestic abuse is a global problem and Felicity’s book not only tells her story but gives references and practical assistance to anyone who needs it.
Thank you for being my guest and I wish you the best of success.


- Donna Seebo 

International Mental Practitioner,
Psychic, Counselor,
Radio/Television Personality,
Talk Show Host,
"The Donna Seebo Show"
Award Winning Author,
Teacher & Minister




I avoid motivational books because, as I’ve come to realise, I feel no need for them having survived a life replete with particular lessons; like some beliefs and habits, it is for people who need it. I have also avoided such literature because of an inability to relate to the authors’ agendas, an imperative if one is to dedicate precious time.

For as long as I have known her, Felicity has always been a cool, beautiful, friendly and unassuming woman, with a quietly sharp sense of humour, that enticement to hidden depths. All about her radiates a content tranquillity even at a time, when we first met on a web design course, when some of the trials detailed in her book were still ongoing; she never gave away any indication of long-suffering strife, never came across as pathetic and in desperation, a reason why my jaw remained dropped throughout that one day I indulgently opened her book to find that I just could not put it down until the back cover; I found this book absolutely compelling!

An essential connection is that I have been abused in my life, not so much physically, but in most other respects, as simplified through Felicity’s notes concluding each chapter, outlining the instruments of the abusers and the abused. Like her, I was also plucked from a happy, secure childhood in Africa to a nightmare family situation in the UK that did its best to crush my spirit – a particular point of identification.

Felicity’s is a harrowing tale that morbidly drags the reader backwards through her hedges right along with her. The bad stuff rolls on relentlessly and one can’t help but feel that, in her summarising the years of tribulations, Felicity’s rather patient and upbeat narrative pulls some punches as to the true depths of despair to which she free-dived.
However, where ordinarily such tales often end up in tragedy, Felicity’s account is all the more uplifting and inspirational for her ability to methodically and tenaciously pull through intact, together with her children, and all the more glorious for not being a fiction. Further one can only glory in her conscientious refusal to be warped into a hateful, vindictive person, into someone she is not, by her experiences.

The role her intellect plays in separating to the good from the bad, and the tenacious conviction that life can be good if only it can be populated with positive, loving people and intentions, however hard to hold on to at times, and then shaping it so is simply awesome.

There is no high education, high morals and ideals, but just a person’s simple convictions and hopes, a lot of breathing deeply in and out, and lot of facing ones worst fears and squaring up to them and getting on with the positive and constructive; I salute that spirit and I salute her.

Abuse is particularly pernicious in human affairs and famously prone to propagation throughout societies, cultures and the generations, as we struggle to spiritually evolve as a species. It is a true blessing to be nurtured amongst positive, progressive people, to suffer the least from it or, at least, to have to face it much later on when one is stronger and more confident as a person.

Unfortunately, abuse remains ubiquitous and we are all vulnerable to it on a daily basis, to varying degrees, in all aspects of ‘power-play’ in our cooperative lives, and it lies at the root of societies’ problems. However, identified and tackled the right way, and early enough, it can also be a source of positive, personal development for those unavoidably bitten by it, and Felicity show us here that we do have the simple power to surmount it and put a stop to it.


Muchi Lukhezo



 I read this book when my relationship with my husband was at a point of crisis. At that point I had lost my confidence and self esteem because he felt I was no good and useless in life. When I read this book, it brought back my confidence, it made me realize that it is me who can make myself become who and what I want to become. And also become even better than I could ever dream of.
I have moved away from my husband now and taken charge of my life by Gods grace. I encourage people from all works of life and especially people in bondage relationship to buy this book and take charge of their lives. Man born of a woman cannot make you who you want to be except yourself and GOD. Open, read and take charge.

- Ene Rita Okpe




l found this book to be a great read. It is powerful in its content and in its style of writing.

The writer really lifts lid on domestic violence against women of today's age and world. It also helps you understand, to be prepared, to accept and deal with yet another betrayal of the social aftermath when you leave. This book cries out for stronger punishment to be enforced against domestic violence.
-Agatha Offodile-Jideobu


This book is a candid account of one woman's experience on spousal abuse and how she coped. An African woman for that matter.
This book certainly educates and informs.
I have and will recommend this book to all: Men, women, young or old because one realises how not to suffer in silence. Even, the bad conducts can be examples of how not to treat women.

- Rosaline.




I recommend this not only for married couples or couples
planning to enter into a permanent relationship but also for pastors and
leaders of all religious groups. In this book, Felicity has not only given us
an insight of the devastating nature of domestic violence on families but she
given  even a greater insight of how love
and forgiveness can be used to conquer the pain and hate accumulated from domestic
violence. It is certainly a great work book for anyone hoping to deal with
victims of domestic violence at a counselling level.


- Fr John Eze



This is a true and well-written account of a brave woman’s terrible experience of domestic violence which she barely survived, being driven to the brink of suicide at times and beaten almost to death. The book is gripping, full of incident, but harrowing. It begins with its author a happy undergraduate and part-time actress and broadcaster on national and local TV and radio in Nigeria, but a chance meeting with a former school teacher had devastating consequences as that woman’s brother was looking for a wife.

The reader instinctively sympathises with Felicity Okolo and is appalled at the physical and mental brutality of the man who married her in Nigeria, under false pretences, against her will and better judgement. He brought her to Britain and made her pregnant, for all the wrong reasons. He was a sadist, cynical, totally unscrupulous and dishonest, devoid of love or human kindness, subjecting her to beatings, intimidation and neglect. Later, he tried to use their children as weapons to humiliate her.

Although her husband tried to cut her off from seeing anyone or going out, she managed – with very great difficulty – to care for her three children by this awful man and even obtained some training. Through strength of character, belief in God, and the help of neighbours and friends, she eventually left him and found sheltered accommodation. In time, she managed to obtain an honours degree from Imperial College, but wherever she moved with the children, he kept tracking them down and making as much trouble as he could. 

After jobs which included microbiology and IT, Felicity now works as a ‘life coach, a dynamic, transformational and entertaining speaker and trainer’ and a vigorous campaigner against domestic violence which is all too common even in Britain. She aims to empower people, especially women, to achieve their true potential. I came to know Felicity when I taught her at Imperial College, and I can vouch for her honesty, determination and strength in the face of adversity.

The book has a very good selection of inspirational quotations from various authors, summaries at the end of chapters of the lessons to be learnt from the events in them, and many offers of help to any victims of domestic violence. There is much good advice to such sufferers.

I can strongly recommend this book for its exciting story, strongly and clearly told, and for its aims to help prevent others from suffering similar devastating experiences.


-Dr Bernard Lamb.

President of the Queen’s English Society


Who Stole My Power? And The Easy Way To Reclaim It!

The power of the subconscious theory has inspired many well-documented books written by behaviou ral sociologists and psychologists. One might be led to think, after reading Who Stole My Power? And The Easy Way To Reclaim It! that Felicity Okolo is (probably) one of them.

Felicity Okolo is a trained and qualified microbiologist. While one might have expected her to write about her biological experiments or how to let corpuses mature in test tubes, it is rather behavioural sociology and psychology that is her passion.

Well researched and well written in a clearly readable style, her first book reveals how she is an accomplished Life Coach & Transformational Speaker..  Associating herself with famous writers and great thinkers that she elegantly quotes, Felicity Okolo instils daily tips, exercises and graphics to inspire readers who are also potential wealth builders. 

Who Stole My Power? And The Easy Way To Reclaim It! is therefore a collection of secrets to embrace “order” in all its ramifications by tapping “into your infinite power of imagination and intuition”.  Spelling ignorance, the author invites readers, in their quest of “light”, to be focused, to nip in the bud bad practices and habits which have hitherto concentred within self – “light will set you free”, seems to be the mantra.

The result is a panacea of how to bring a positive change in one’s life and find peace of mind. This good study will be an invaluable tool to existing behavioural psychologists and sociologists and students who specialise in this field of training and education patterns.

A labour behaviourist, Felicity Okolo’s mentoring approach and coaching skills are undoubtedly inspired by her intuitive knowledge and experience of the social milieu and the community that she lives in.  I would be surprised if another book was not in the pipeline.

A writer is born;her chosen field of research is behavioural sociology and psychology.

Dr Sylvestre Mbou,
Emerging Africa magazine.



I think it was fate that I read your book. I am going to a lawyer today about custody. Even though I didn't have the domestic physical abuse, there was some mental. After 7 years, he decided he wants the kids for awhile and has been bullying them and me for them to live with him. Your book gave me courage to stick to my guns and do what I know is right for my kids, no matter how bad he tries to make me feel.

- Anna-Marie Johnson



I grew up first in a home with an abusive father and then in a home that had learned from, turned around and understood the cycle of abuse. Your book shares with readers the very real damage that is done while offering hope and solutions. It reminds us that we have the power to change things and choose a life of our making. Thank you for your honesty in sharing your story. It is an important gift to a world that still remains blind to the very real dangers of ignoring this global issue. Your family is lucky to have you as a teacher and role model!


- Tsara Shelton


Felicity Okolo is a courageous and determined survivor of physical, mental and spiritual abuse. She offers "It Is My Life And I'm In Charge" as a gift to help women avoid the horrors she and her young children endured at the hands of her serial-abuser husband, augmented by her family's refusal to help. This well-written documentary details Felicity's inspiring road to freedom and success, owing to her indomitable spirit, her tenacious vision and the kindness of a few strangers.  Read it and weep - really weep - in sadness and then joy.

Bonnie D. Graham aka RadioRed
Producer / Host "Read My Lips" Radio

Felicity is a powerful life coach who helped me to get great  inspirations everytime I talk to her. She is so passionate and  affecionate about helping people to live a prosperious and fulfilling life. She lifted up my spirit and helped my to get over my great life challenge during my turbulence time. Her book "Who Stole my Power? And  The Easy WAy To Reclaim it!" is a very unique and hearpouring study materral that is applicable to everyone's life. I am very touched by the amount of time and passion she shared out by writing this  wonderful handbook about how to live a happy life. Anyone who connect with her personally or through her book would get an immediate uplifting positive momentum in life.


- Frank Lee

Internet Marketing Expert


This book is an excellent testimony to how an adversity can be turned into an opportunity. In complete simplicity, the author carries the reader along to arrive at the message of personal emancipation. One is particularly touched by the stories narrated in this book on how the author broke loose from the shackles of mental and emotional stress by daring to take the big bold step to starting a new life of independence. Chapter by chapter the book reveals the reality of domestic violence with an amazing degree of lucidity. One can easily forsee the message of this work travelling far and wide to reach and empower millions of people around the world. If you have experienced any form of violence at home, in the work place or in the community, then this book will inspire you to get liberated. If you have not experienced it, then it is for your enlightenment. In short, one has to read this book to discover some life-changing and liberating  inspiration.


- Fr Ugochukwu Nnaji MSP

Who Stole My Power? And The Easy Way To Reclaim It!

Do you desire success in life? Then this book is for you. It focuses on the individual who desires empowerment for a successful life and living.  The joy of reading this book lies in the fact that it builds up a set of philosophical principals for a person's maximum performance in life.  It also taps into the psyche and emotions of the individual pursuing success. The author strongly believes that for a person to be positioned to attract and manage success, the secrets and facts about health, love and money must be exposed and clearly explained.  Hence, there is a deliberate attempt, through chapters of this book to target and empower every student of success through transformation of mind, body and heart.


- Fr Ugochukwu Nnaji MSP



There are issues in the affairs of man that have from time immemorial defied all logic and common sense. One of such has been the sustaining of the oppression of the so called weaker sex but for whom, the human race would not  be sustained.

The courage and self belief that shines through this very easily readable and compelling book is a true demonstration of how to overcome your adversity by focussing on others, sharing your experiences honestly and knowing that the mark of a courageous person is not the one who has never fallen but one who rises up after every fall to continue the race.

The essence of this book is that women will have to overcome and can overcome fear, believe in themselves and their innate resilience to lead the charge for their liberation and become what they want to be. This book illustrates that it can be done and needs to be done.

It should be read not only by women but also by anybody who believes in the dignity of the human race.


Dr. Reuben Obaro



This book was very interesting. It took me 4hrs to complete it….

 Felicity Okolo is very brave to have commented and made it into a book about her own views and life experience with Domestic Violence while married to her husband Simon….

I was shocked at some of her life experiences in Nigeria with her Sister in- law and the types of abuse she experienced whilst she was living with her husband in the UK. I was also happy when she was able to conquer all adversities and take control of her life with her children as a lone parent.

A lot of mums are going through similar experiences as a lone parent because I was a lone parent…

I am looking forward to reading the next book and more to come.

I’ll recommend this book to women who are experiencing Domestic Violence and to my

Local Government Authority in London because I believe women in the Country experiencing abuse will benefit from it.


-Laura Chukwu





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